Divorce: What does the bible say?

Divorce: good or bad?
Ok, here goes. There’s no possible way that I can make everyone happy with this blog post. Truthfully, the only people who are going to be happy with this post are the ones who share my views. I’m kinda’ expecting some hate mail after this is published, and that’s fine. I’ll even try to listen to your opinion with an open mind!
My good friend, Christine, shared [Matt Walsh’s] opinion about divorce, and I was surprised with how much I agree with him in this particular subject. (Especially because I think Matt comes across as arrogant and self righteous with almost everything he says. I have no respect for that man, but I happen to agree with him in this one area). In this post, though, I’m going to take it a step further. Oh yes. I’m going to actually quote from the Bible. You might not like what you’re about to read; just a fair warning.
Before I really get into it, I want to preface with this honest, thought-out opinion: People change. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worst. THERE WILL BE TIMES WHEN YOU’RE EXTREMELY UNHAPPY, and there will be times when you’re bored with the relationship. However, none of that is grounds for a divorce… If you take anything away from this post, remember this: unless marital unfaithfulness has occurred, divorce shouldn’t be an option. (Read Matthew 19:9 for more info).
**Update: Many people have brought up spousal abuse as being a legit reason to leave a marriage, and as someone who’s never experienced something so terrifying and life-threatening, I don’t know how you feel/felt. Never, in a million years, do I expect someone to stay in a relationship where people’s lives and health are in danger. And although I have yet to find scripture that speaks directly on abuse between a married man and woman (if you’ve found a reference, please share! I haven’t stopped looking, myself!) if I ever found myself in a life-threatening situation, especially where my daughter was in danger, then I believe I would leave. I don’t think I would hesitate. If you’ve left for the same reason, then I believe you did what you had to do to protect your precious child/children.**
Most of North America seems to have the same mindset when it comes to getting out of a marriage: “I’m not happy anymore. I deserve to be happy.” How completely selfish can we get, as a nation? What horrible examples we are passing on to future generations!! Instead of fleeing when times get difficult – dare I say it? – try praying about it. And don’t give up after a few months, or even years of prayer – I know from many other people’s testimonies how hard it is, but God can overcome. And I challenge you to start believing that: GOD CAN OVERCOME. He’s not a small, insignificant God.
(Bunny trail: People have shared with me that because of years of praying for their spouse consistently, they realized that God was transforming their own heart. Have you ever thought that God allows some of you to go through horrible times in your marriages because it may impact your heart and prayer life in such a way that you depend more on God? He is always striving to make us more like Him, and He’s not against using your marriage as one way to reach out to you.)
Before I continue, I want to say that I realize that I’ve only been married for 7 years, which isn’t a lot, but I’m not just giving you my opinion here. I’m going based off of The Bible. I want to add that Shawn and I have been through more than most still-married couples have. A lot can happen in 7 years, but after all is said and done, we stayed together. And trust me when I say that I know how hard it can get (and please don’t ask me to elaborate, because most of the time I don’t believe it’s helpful to indulge in reliving the past).
I want to wrap this up soon, but before I do, I want to take a moment to share with you something I saw yesterday that blew my mind. I am involved with a lot of photography groups on Facebook, and as I was scrolling through the news feed of one of my favorites, I saw a picture with two people in two separate life-sized bird cages. My first thought was: oh, that’s a neat concept! I wonder why they’re separated like that?… I think you know where I’m going with this, but I’ll continue anyway. The couple actually hired a photographer to take pictures to celebrate their separation.
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???!
This is where we are headed? Divorce parties and separation photo shoots? I can’t believe that anyone would want to document or celebrate such painful times. (And please, don’t fool yourself, someone always is in pain during a divorce. Whether it’s you, or your kids, or your parents, or your soon-to-be-ex, someone always gets hurt with a divorce.)
My point in writing this article is to encourage those who are single, about to get married, newly-weds, longly-weds (?), and separated that it’s not too late. Get some help: go to a Christian marriage counselor if you can. Pray together, read the bible together, pray for a change-of-heart for your spouse. It can get better, especially┬áif you’re consistent in being selfless (<– that’s a biggie!), praying for your spouse and putting God first in your relationship. EVEN if you’re the only one who’s trying to make the marriage work.

Divorce: good or bad?

Remember that in this day and age, with all the technology out there, we expect immediate results for almost everything. This won’t happen immediately (And yes, I’m speaking from experience here, Shawn and I have had problems for sure) but don’t give up!
Lastly, if you need or want to talk with someone, please contact me. Call, text, email, whatever! I really don’t care if it’s 3 AM, and I don’t know you personally! If I don’t answer, keep calling until I do, or leave me a text and/or Voicemail.
April Christensen (located in Colo Springs):
http://www.aprilmariephoto.com
april_christensen22@yahoo.com
252.331.9239
Don’t give up. There are people out there with the same story as you, and they’ve pulled through and rebuilt their marriage. You never know, we may have the same story! Don’t hesitate. Do it now. Call me.

Divorce: good or bad?

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Highlights

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I wanted to share with you the highlights of my life since Marlowe came into existence. The photo above was taken during Marlowe’s first Easter weekend. And the photo below was taken during Marlowe’s and my baby shower back in May, 2013. My Grandma and Aunt (far ends) were able to come down from Canada!

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I love this photo of my dad holding Marlowe. She was only a month old here. I remember that she slept all the time.

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We’re almost due for another family photo shoot; it’s been a long time since this one. I still haven’t posted all the photos that Truly Sarah Photography took. (And might I add how talented Sarah is?! She’s expecting her own baby, now!)

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Both Shawn and I wanted to take Marlowe to Forest Park Church to get her dedicated. FPC was basically where we met and fell in love once upon a time, so it was very special to us to be able to participate in their baby dedication weekend!

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I can’t believe I haven’t posted this photo yet. I think it’s one of my favorites of Marlowe. I love that cute little smirk and that tongue!! (I believe she was 2 months old here).

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This was taken at the Botanical Gardens back in North Carolina. We were visiting with some friends; such a fun day!

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And lastly, here’s another one I took of Marlowe during this past Easter weekend. So serious. No smiles that day, I guess.

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Sitting Room: Decorated

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I was definitely concerned about how to decorate an entire extra room (we went from an 1800 sq ft house to 3200 sq feet, so that’s a lot of extra space!), but I was able to overcome my concern. I am a really good bargain shopper, so a lot of the decor in this room came from Home Goods, Amazon and THE THRIFT STORE!
I’m going to go off on a tangent here… I absolutely LOVE Colorado Springs’ thrift stores! They’re gold mines, I swear! People don’t realize how cute some of their junk is. ­čśë
Anyway, we bought our couch from Overstock. I made the large pieces of art that Shawn hung for me. I got the frames from a thrift store and painted them purple (don’t ask why, it really doesn’t go with anything in our house, but I love the way they turned out). Then I painted the matting white and inserted cardboard pieces fit-to-size with my artwork already on them. The succulents, which fill our home, were super cheap from Lowes!
I got the lamp, below, from Target, as well as the black end table and polka dot box. I didn’t get them very long ago, so you may still be able to find them at your local Target store!IMG_1797
I was looking for a bar cart for the longest time, but I still haven’t found one I like. So, this trunk will have to do for now. The gold tray and copper clock were both on sale at Home Goods, and the game called Cards Against Humanity is one of the most vulgar, fun games I’ve ever played. It’s politically incorrect in all the wrong ways, but nothing has ever made me laugh so hard. You can get it from Amazon. IMG_1795
Below is my favorite piece in the whole house! I love, love, LOVE gold stuff, so when I saw this gem of an end table in Home Goods, I snatched it right up. It was on sale, too!IMG_1771
I painted the planters myself, and I really love the way they turned out! It was a bit of a process, but I painted the tops white, and I used chalkboard paint for the bottoms. Then I filled the planters with fake plants from Ikea. (I didn’t want to use real plants because 1- I’m really good at killing them, and 2- I was worried that watering them would chip the paint.)IMG_1789
The orange, polka-dot chair is from the thrift store (I googled how to clean couches, so don’t worry! It’s clean!), I got the ottoman from Home Goods (click [here] for my aweful tutorial on how to reupholster ottomans), got the trunk from a thrift store (I still haven’t figured out what color to paint it, yet), and the coffee table is from Overstock.IMG_1779
I’m a collector of the L & L magazines, so they’re sitting all over our house. And I love magnifying glasses, so when I saw this one at Home Goods, I knew it had to be mine.IMG_1809
I got the gold honeycomb planter from the thrift store, and the clock from a local boutique.IMG_1817
And lastly, a close up of the adorable old fashioned phone my MIL gave me from Pottery Barn!
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